HOW TO RUN AWAY FROM HOME LIKE YOU REALLY MEAN IT
Are you tired of your boring 9-5 suburban existence? Do you dream of living on the open road, becoming an expat, or just getting far away from family and friends because they’re trying your patience to no end? Then have we got a MULTI-STEP PROGRAM for you!
AS SEEN ON
WE’VE GOT AN ESCAPE PLAN JUST FOR YOU!
Yepper, every step, notion, idea, and hurdle is covered in this intensive (yet easy to follow) guide.
- How to avoid those pesky confrontations with your kids whose only desires are their inheritances and how they want to help you get closer to giving it to them.
- Every “Oh, I could never do that” thought turned into “F*** it, let’s go!”.
STEP 1: THE BASICS
Every great escape starts with planning, deception, and more than a little bit of dishonesty. But don’t worry … after you find your way to paradise, your conscience will forget all about these little white lies.
HOW TO PACK
The most important thing to remember is never to pack everything. You need to leave just enough behind so that when nosy people start looking for you, there is reason for them to believe that you’re coming right back.
STEALTH
You also need to leave decoys to throw them off your scent. Put a stuffed mannequin in your bed (like Ferris Bueller). Leave a fake forwarding address conveniently on the kitchen counter. Say in Dayton Ohio.
SURVIVAL
So, where are you going to escape to? A luxury hotel? Perhaps a treehouse or just down by the river in a van? Whatever your poison of choice, make sure it’s not a place where anybody would expect to find you.
Yepper, we have a newsletter. Every two weeks (or so) we will add to your inbox exactly one message of hope, inspiration, and even some decent advice. Tales from the road, and behind the scenes of folks actually doing it.
I know, I know. This is a hard decision to make on your own. Who’s going to stand by you? Help you over the hurdles and pat your hand while telling you it’s all going to be ok?
As an experienced nomad and world traveler who has put numerous family members and friends well into my rear view mirror, I am uniquely qualified to guide you through what seems to be an impossible process.
- I offer a judgement-free hand in friendship and will walk side-by-side with you through the fires of hell … well, unless your kids are especially good at producing guilt, in which case I’ll be there to support you by email.
- I offer quality services at almost-affordable prices. Payment plans available.
FEAR!
It’s OK To Be Afraid ….
It’s what kept your ancestors from being consumed by a saber-tooted tiger. But it doesn’t have to be what keeps you from your best life.
It’s natural to fear change, especially when those you’re been surrounded by are not following you to your new physical life. Moving to a new country? Living in a wheeled home? How in the world are you going to make it without friends and family?
Well, it’s actually a lot easier than you might think. Sure, you’re going to have many long nights of unquenchable guilt ahead of you. However, Big Pharma as well as several breweries do have temporary solutions.
Leaving that 4000 square foot home and you have no idea how you’re going to cope in such a smaller space? Are you worried about how your relationship is going to fare in this new world? Trust me, you’re not alone in these thoughts. But the good news is that there are ways to manage.
OK, there really aren’t too many good options. You and your partner are going to squabble as you try to live together in such a tiny new space. Can’t be helped. I suggest you refer to the Fear above for a solution.
Yep, whatever new path you take is probably going to come with some shocks. And lots of differences. What about healthcare and emergency services on the road or in that new country? What about speaking the language or finding your favorite brand of ketchup? These are big things!
If you do move to a new country, I suggest you select a strong expat community where you never have to experience any local culture. I mean, after all, these are third world people we’re talking about and they should only be seen manicuring your lawn, right?
Everyone is different when it comes to their acceptance of financial risk. And I won’t suger coat it, this is a big issue that won’t go away easily. Your financial picture isn’t mine and the next family over is different yet. You will need to evaluate this very carefully, but it also helps to just run through things with outside eyes. Because sometimes we simply can’t see what’s in front of us.
That’s why I strongly suggest including me as a major line item in your budget. I can jump on periodic calls with you and make positive mumbling sounds as you wallow in your financial woes.
Everyone wants a different life, but for some reason they think that pulling that thread means you can never go back. That you’re somehow going to permanently lose your identity. This is a common fear. Everything you know is probably going to change in some way.
But that’s the whole point, isn’t it? So burn that bridge and slam that door. Your new life awaits!
WHAT’S THIS ALL GOING TO COST?
What’s the cost of not doing it? Here are the services we can offer you in your quest for freedom.
A note from our lawyers: All advice from this site, page, channel, and anything uttered from the mouth of one Rick Higgins are to be taken at your own risk. Common results include misery, weight gain, hair loss, and an incomprehensible need to urinate. We at Mastering The Second Half LLC, including our affiliates and ex-wives (ok, maybe not our ex-wives, feel free to sue them) take zero responsibility for your actions. Unless they somehow directly profit us.
